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Thoughts & observations on visibility, uniqueness, & doing your work your way.
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living Map Retreat
Living Map Retreat:

August 29 — September 12
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What people say

Jon Hansen You have given words to a process that defies words. And you’re constantly in a position to help me continue to hone that, deeper and deeper and more and more resonantly, who I am and what I offer, which is truly invaluable. — Jon Hansen, The Remembering Room, Richmond, Illinois
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Jenn Whiteford Givler I love the way you take the energetic and esoteric aspects of business birthing, and tell us how we are going to bring them into the physical. People like us — we see the vision, and we know that’s our subconscious telling us that’s where we need to go. But it’s not always easy to get from the esoteric to the physical. You are BRILLIANT at that. This work is amazing, and I’m so glad we’re working together!
— Jenn Whiteford Givler, Blended Yoga, Cain Township, Pennsylvania
Daniel Stone Working together was absolutely key, and I think that’s what made it such a great experience. I felt like you were my partner in this. I felt like my success was your success. To me, someone who has that attitude and the skills to go with it — that’s an unbeatable combination! — Daniel Stone,, Washington DC, New York City, Delaware, South Carolina, and India
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Bev Dwane I have a website I’m proud of — but for me, the hugest benefit has been increased self-confidence. Because of the process we went through, and the validity that came with the process, I trust what I think and I trust myself to speak about it. I have greater confidence and clarity in my message about who I am and what I do. — Bev Dwane AICI CIP,, Durham, North Carolina
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Eric Klein If someone’s looking for a thought partner, not so much an expert to tell them what to do, but someone who can help them think more clearly and more completely so that they can take action, then I would say that you’re a good choice. If people want to work at a deeper level than simply tactics or strategy, if they want to be connected to a sense of purpose that goes beyond the cognitive, your process is really powerful. And it’s simple. Anyone can do it, and it gives immediate access to the generative, creative energies that are often untapped.
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All Marketing is One-on-One

All marketing is one-on-one:  one you and one client.

You standing in front of an audience of thousands.

Your website representing you to the teeming masses of internet users.

Or you talking face-to-face with one person.

It doesn’t matter.  It’s always one-on-one:  one you talking with one other person.

Each person in that audience of thousands, each internet user in that teeming mass, and that individual you’re face-to-face with is one person.  One person having his or her unique experience of you and your work.

The more you recognize this, the more successful you’ll be.  Because when you recognize that you’re talking to just one person at a time, not hundreds or thousands all at once, you have the perspective you need to create an intimacy between you and that one person – an intimacy that your potential client will feel and respond to.

If this one person is right for your work, he or she will respond by coming closer in some way – perhaps by signing up for your newsletter, coming up to talk with you after your speech, purchasing a product, or calling you to book a consultation.

If this one person is not a good fit for your work, he or she will respond by moving away – leaving your website, walking out of your presentation without a backward glance.

In both cases, that’s exactly what you want to happen.  You want your message to screen out those people who aren’t right for you, and to screen in your best clients.

It’s easy to overlook this one-to-one reality.  When you’re standing in front of that audience of thousands, there’s a sea of faces out there.  You don’t know when someone is reading your website.  If you’re leading a teleconference session, you don’t even have faces to look at – you just have to take it on faith that there are people on the line.

Of course you know you’re talking with just one person when you’re face-to-face.

What if you took that one-to-one knowledge – that one-to-one feeling – into all of your communication? 

Your website’s home page

Before you read any further – go read your home page.  (How long has it been since you read your own website?)

Does your home page feel conversational and personal, or is it purely informational and impersonal?

Your home page’s language can address multiple options and even multiple audiences and still present your message in a way that feels like a direct, personal message to the people who need to hear what you have to say.

Your sales pages

I once heard someone describe his sales-page-writing process as “writing love letters to clients.”  I think that’s beautiful, and it’s a great expression of what I’m suggesting.

What if instead of writing a sales page – with all the heaviness and anxiety that implies – you wrote love letters to your potential buyers?  How would that change your feelings about writing sales pages?  And how would it change your message?

Your presentations

When you present your work in video, on podcasts, in teleclasses, or through in-person speeches and presentations, do you find yourself talking to an amorphous “audience out there”? 

How would your energy, the tone of your voice, and your excitement and passion for your subject change if you spoke as if you were addressing just one person?

Who is it?

Who is the one person you’re talking to? 

Knowing that one person means knowing how to write your side of the conversation on your home page.

Knowing that one person means knowing exactly what words and tone will feel like a love letter inviting that one person to understand more about the value of your relationship with him or her.

Knowing that one person means knowing how he or she wants to learn from you in your presentations.

When you don’t speak to just one person, you dilute your message.  It’s almost impossible to write a clear, compelling message when you’re writing to an undifferentiated crowd.

Each and every person in that crowd is experiencing you as an individual – as one person.  Isn’t it time you gave each of them the same respect and consideration?

“You can’t love a crowd the same way you can love a person.  And a crowd can’t love you the way a single person can love you.  Intimacy doesn’t scale. Not really. Intimacy is a one-on-one phenomenon.”  Hugh Macleod, American cartoonist and author, from his ChangeThis manifesto “How to be Creative.”

The person who calls sales pages love letters? It’s the fabulous Fabeku Fatunmise, at Funny, brilliant, and definitely out of the ordinary!

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Comment from Tami Stackelhouse
Time November 30, 2011 at 1:34 am

Oh yes! This is so freeing, isn’t it? Realizing that everything I write on my site is really just a conversation between me and that one perfect client. The better I get to know her, who she is, what she needs, how I can help her – the better I can imagine her as a real flesh-and-blood person – the easier it is to write to her. =)

And I LOVE the “love letters” concept. I had pretty well grasped the writing to one person idea for my web copy… but somehow that hadn’t translated to the sales copy all the way. THANK YOU! Of course that would come from Fabeku!
Tami Stackelhouse invites you to read Join Me on the December Fibromyalgia Weight Loss Webinar!My Profile

Comment from Grace
Time November 30, 2011 at 9:19 am

Tami – Of course it was Fabeku! ;-)

I think it’s freeing if one has a strong connection with who the client is – what they’re thinking, feeling, struggling with, and what options are most appealing to them.

That takes work … and it’s work that can sometimes feel daunting and difficult.

But you’re right on when you say, “The better I can imagine her as a real flesh-and-blood person – the easier it is to write to her.”

There was an interesting guest post along these lines on Copyblogger recently about creating an imaginary friend:

Comment from Tami Stackelhouse
Time December 2, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Wow, that is an interesting article!

The main thing I was thinking when I said this was freeing is that it’s a whole lot easier to deal with writing to one person’s needs and personality than a bunch of people with different needs and personalities.

That and the fact that I have already done a bunch of work getting to know who my perfect person is… which does make it easier too. =)
Tami Stackelhouse invites you to read Join Me on the December Fibromyalgia Weight Loss Webinar!My Profile

Comment from Grace
Time December 5, 2011 at 7:10 am

Tami – Absolutely agree. And kudos to you for doing the work to get to know your perfect person – it’s not necessarily easy to do, and it puts you way ahead of the game!

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